Hannah O'Donnell

22. English Gradute. Londoner. Studying for an MA in Irish Studies.

The thing about armchair diagnosis is that it mutates. First it’s a ‘friend’ deciding that someone must have bipolar disorder because of some event or another. Over time, that’s mutated into an ‘actual’ diagnosis, repeated as fact and accepted. Everyone tiptoes around or gives someone sidelong glances and makes sure to tell other people. Meanwhile, someone is completely puzzled that other people are treating her like she’s, well. Crazy.

If anyone knows of any cats going let me know. I am so done with men and relationships/dating anything to do with having another half because apparently I’m not able to have one of those. So please, I’d like a cat for company…or a horse…I’m sure one of those would fit into my flat above a cafe in the middle of Dalston.

Things have been very up and down in my life over the last 18 months or so and those who know me well know I have suffered a bout of depression, which over the last 18 months I have been learning to deal with and walk my slow path away from. I’m still not there yet, but with all the recent things about Robin Williams I just wanted to put my little bit out there. The link below is a video I’ve started about my recent decision to document the day after I’ve had a downer. I don’t have them as often as I used to which shows this monster is decreasing in its hold on me and I wouldn’t have been able to do that without the support I have surrounding me from friends and family, but that only helped because I decided to let it help me. You cannot defeat this monster alone and the bravest, and hardest, thing you can do is say you need help. I’m not using the death of such a great man to publicise myself- not at all, I just want to put out there that for one, no one is alone in this-no matter how alone you feel, and I know how that is; and that in any small way, the way I’m trying to understand what I’m getting through might help someone. It is my battle and my war, just like someone out there is fighting theirs but if this in anyway gives someone the courage to ask for help or to realise that the hole they find themselves in isn’t somewhere they want to be then that’d be grand to know it helped in some way. It’s on my other blog so have a shimmy through the linkage and please remember, you are not alone.

And enjoy having a laugh at how I sound and how I can’t seem to be able to look into the camera much and how half way through I realise my top is perhaps a tad too low…

If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.

Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.

—Stephen Fry (via wordsnquotes)

(Source: wordsnquotes, via ihavegottimeforthis)

Kinda scary to think that I’ve been in London a year and in less than a month I will have pretty much become a Master in Irish Studies (potatoes…). Where has this year gone?! All I know is that moving back here was the best thing I have ever done, they say it takes a year to settle fully in London and its true. I still don’t know that many people but the ones I do I’ve grown really close to, I have a great flat share, I live in a really awesome place, my job needs changing but that’s on the cards and certain other things are finally working out. For the first time in almost two years I feel settled and that’s a big thing for me to say…lets get this dissertation done and then I can sort a new job out and cut the last shitty bit of my life off. To the next chapter in my life!